Monday, October 1, 2007

Baptism anniversary

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of Kevin's baptism. This is going to be a hard month because it is the month that Kevin was diagnosed as being profoundly deaf last year. While I can't believe the progress that he has made with the cochlear implants, it is hard to think back to the time when he was first diagnosed. Those seem like such dark days in my life. I never thought life would natural and happy again, but here we are today and things are just about as normal as normal could be. And.... we are all happy! :) For some reason, though, I find myself emotional when I think about everything that has happend this last year. I haven't cried over Kevin's deafness in a long time, but the last week, there have been many occasions where tears have been shed. I guess while I am soooooo elated at the progress that he has made and couldn't be happier for Kevin with how he is doing, I still mourn the loss of his hearing. The sadness isn't nearly as great as it was a year ago, but I guess it will always be there, to some extent.

The significance of the anniversary of Kevin's baptism is great because for me, it marked the day that I realized and actually believed he could be deaf. At this point in time, the official diagnosis was still that he had normal hearing, but John and I were having serious doubts about it and were preparing ourselves for the 6-month follow-up behavior test on October 26. During the baptism, there was a guest pastor and the woman who spoke told of her life story as a disbled woman. She was born with birth defects and had to overcome adversity and is now living a normal and happy life as a pastor. She is married, has a family, and despite her challenges in life, she has succeeded in what she has set out to do. Her Mom then spoke and told her story that she had a 2 year old and was expecting their second child and everything was supposed to be 'normal'. When her child was born with birth defects, it took them by such complete surprise and they didn't think their life would ever be the same again. While it wasn't the same, it was still a wonderful life and they were a very happy famiily.

The story had such similarities as ours. Our older son was 2 when Kevin was born and when Kevin failed his newborn screening, it took us by complete surprise. When we thought of our child as being deaf, I just couldn't even bear the thought of it. Because of the mis-diagnosis when Kevin was 1 month, there was this uncertainty about his hearing and we were constantly testing him at home. I just kept praying for 'a sign from God' to put us as ease about it. If this ever was one....! I came home from the baptism with complete certainty that Kevin was deaf, but also at peace that everything would be ok. And, here we are today, he is deaf and it IS ok!

I ran into the Mom of the guest pastor yesterday, Lois Scott, by coincidence, and finally was able to thank her for sharing her story and told her how much it meant to me to have her daughter speak at Kevin's baptism. God definitely hand-picked that sermon for Kevin that day.

1 comment:

Drew's Mom said...

Kevin was diagnosed on October 26? So was Drew (and Landon at Buzz's Journey)!

I've been experiencing these same emotions. It's amazing how far we have come but there is a part of me that remembers those early, helpless days.